Thursday, September 15, 2011

Manners

Jasmine: I want a drink
Mummy: Where are your manners?
J: I lost them
M: Where are they?
J: In my toes.

Monday, September 12, 2011

My night

Alternatively titled WTF?! OMFG!



  • Jasmine and Beau in the bath
  • Beau shits in the bath
  • Quickly heave both children out of the murky water
  • Both kids crying because they were unceremoniously removed from the shit-bath
  • Throw a towel over Jasmine
  • While throwing a towel over Jasmine, Beau escapes from my reach
  • Beau runs squealing across the bathroom dripping water on the tiles
  • Beau slips and bangs his head making one of those awful dull thudding sounds only heads make
  • Blood starts coming out of Beau's mouth. He's bitten his tongue.
  • Hold Beau and rock him till he quietens while Jasmine screams that she's cold
  • Poo still in bath
  • Dry Jasmine
  • Dry Beau
  • Drain bath. Poo has been in bath so long that it's turned into mush. Can only salvage small chunks for the toilet.
  • Keep tap running to try to wash all traces of poo away.
  • Re-run bath and throw in half a packet of Miltons tablets (anti-bacterial tablets for sterilizing baby stuff)
  • Start dressing Beau
  • Jasmine reaches into bath and grabs a Miltons tablet and puts it in her mouth
  • Jasmine screams and starts scratching her tongue
  • Grab Jasmine and wash her mouth out with water from the sink
  • Grab the Miltons packet and check for poison advise
  • Turn around
  • Beau has started throwing clothing and towels into the Miltons bath water
  • Grab Beau
  • Don't need to check Jasmine's still breathing because she's crying so much because her tongue hurts
  • Beau goes up to Jasmine to 'comfort' her and smacks her on the face
  • Jasmine cries more
  • Beau starts crying
  • Jasmine gives Beau a cuddle
  • Jasmine smothers Beau
  • Beau bites Jasmine on the chest
  • Jasmine starts screaming
  • Beau starts crying
  • Mummy reaches for the red wine

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The peanut butter showdown

Beau had a fight with the peanut butter toast this morning. 


I think the peanut butter won.


You want a piece of me?

What do you mean there's peanut butter on my face? Where?

Mr Peanut-Butter-Sparkle

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Flamingoes for morning tea

Jasmine and I were discussing our favourite fruits yesterday over morning tea.

Mummy "I like apples and strawberries and cherries"
Jasmine "I like apples and strawberries and cherries too!"
M "And I LOVE mangos! Mangos are my FAVOURITE!"
J "I love pamingos too!"
M "Did you say that you love mangos, or that you love flamingoes?"
J "Pamingoes (flamingoes). They're so yummy! And they're pink! I love pink!"