Manners

Jasmine: I want a drink

Mummy: Where are your manners?

J: I lost them

M: Where are they?

J: In my toes.

My night

Alternatively titled WTF?! OMFG!

• Jasmine and Beau in the bath
• Beau shits in the bath
• Quickly heave both children out of the murky water
• Both kids crying because they were unceremoniously removed from the shit-bath
• Throw a towel over Jasmine
• While throwing a towel over Jasmine, Beau escapes from my reach
• Beau runs squealing across the bathroom dripping water on the tiles
• Beau slips and bangs his head making one of those awful dull thudding sounds only heads make
• Blood starts coming out of Beau's mouth. He's bitten his tongue.
• Hold Beau and rock him till he quietens while Jasmine screams that she's cold
• Poo still in bath
• Dry Jasmine
• Dry Beau
• Drain bath. Poo has been in bath so long that it's turned into mush. Can only salvage small chunks for the toilet.
• Keep tap running to try to wash all traces of poo away.
• Re-run bath and throw in half a packet of Miltons tablets (anti-bacterial tablets for sterilizing baby stuff)
• Start dressing Beau
• Jasmine reaches into bath and grabs a Miltons tablet and puts it in her mouth
• Jasmine screams and starts scratching her tongue
• Grab Jasmine and wash her mouth out with water from the sink
• Grab the Miltons packet and check for poison advise
• Turn around
• Beau has started throwing clothing and towels into the Miltons bath water
• Grab Beau
• Don't need to check Jasmine's still breathing because she's crying so much because her tongue hurts
• Beau goes up to Jasmine to 'comfort' her and smacks her on the face
• Jasmine cries more
• Beau starts crying
• Jasmine gives Beau a cuddle
• Jasmine smothers Beau
• Beau bites Jasmine on the chest
• Jasmine starts screaming
• Beau starts crying
• Mummy reaches for the red wine

The peanut butter showdown

Beau had a fight with the peanut butter toast this morning. 


I think the peanut butter won.

You want a piece of me?

What do you mean there's peanut butter on my face? Where?

Mr Peanut-Butter-Sparkle

Flamingoes for morning tea

Jasmine and I were discussing our favourite fruits yesterday over morning tea.

Mummy "I like apples and strawberries and cherries"
Jasmine "I like apples and strawberries and cherries too!"
M "And I LOVE mangos! Mangos are my FAVOURITE!"
J "I love pamingos too!"
M "Did you say that you love mangos, or that you love flamingoes?"
J "Pamingoes (flamingoes). They're so yummy! And they're pink! I love pink!"